On Life: Who Will Make It Through 2007?

Some of my co-workers are starting a Dead-Pool. You might be asking yourself "Qu'est-ce que c'est Dead-Pool?" (Because many of my blog readers are French, I thought that would be appropriate. Ok, a few of my blog readers are French… FINE! None of them are French but they ALL LOVE French Toast! I digress.) The Dead-Pool consists of several participants putting in their share of cash for the opportunity to make a list of 10 celebrities. Each person will name 10 celebrities that they think will die that year. By the end of the year whoever has the most dead celebrities on their list wins the cash pot. Ok Yay except… uh uh! This game taunts fate! It's like telling Karma "Hey look at me! I'm gambling away the life of others and I don't give a damn what you have to say about it Karma! You suck and I boinked your Mom! Oh yeah and took 50 bucks and a year-old condom out of your wallet while you weren't looking, tool!" That is not a wise thing to do, folks! Obviously I did not participate in the Dead-pool but decided instead to make a pool of my own; I started a Survival-Pool. That's right, a list of people that I think will make it to the end of 2007. Did you hear that Karma? I'm talking about people that will be able to make it to the end of the year. Remember that (and that one time when I held your hair while you were puking) when it's your time pay out a little my way.

So here's my list of 10 people that I think will be able to make it through this next year:

10) Paris Hilton (TV Producers have actually cloned her in hopes that they can make at least another 45 seasons of "The Simple Life.")

09) Nicole Richie (Ditto on the Paris Hilton deal.)

08) Bea Arthur (By now her skin is so leathery that it's nigh impenetrable and will provide plenty of protection until 2013.)

07) Andy Dick (He never dies! It's one-way ticket to corpseville for anyone that hangs around him… but he doesn't die.)

06) Carmen Electra (Because a man can dream. P.S. Stop doing the Taco Bell and Ritz Film commercials… you're embarrassing me.)

05) Those old folks from the Hoveround commercial ("You made me looooooove you." "I didn't wanna do it! I didn't wanna do it!")

04) Anna Nicole (The woman has had every single narcotic, liquor and dietary supplement pass through her body. 2007 will be TrimSpa, BABY!)

03) Carrot Top (Because even if he does die, nobody will care to publicize it and I'll score either way.)

02) Dick Clark (Four words: DEAL WITH THE DEVIL)

01) George W. Bush (Natural selection hasn't weeded him out yet, why should I expect it to start in 2007?)