So the insanity is over and all that's left are open boxes, waiting to be filled with re-packaged ornaments and rolled up light strands. The wrapping paper shrapnel has been disposed of and the credit card bills are knocking at my door. Christmas, and the New Year celebration, finally comes to a close. It's obvious that blogging wasn't in my schedule the last few days so let me catch you up on whatever you might have missed:
Local hysteria erupted in Crestucky when news spread that the local lingerie store was up to no good (Side-note: You can't be up to ANY good if you want to open up a lingerie store in Crestiview. Rednecks make their own crotchless panties, they don't need some fancy store to sell it to them!) Apparently the changing rooms were equipped with wall clocks, each clock also happened to have a live-feed-ready camera. Something about the fact that the camera wasn't connected to a recorder made it less of a crime. I'm sorry, I don't care if it's not set to TiVO. Anyone trying on the latest pair of velour ass-less chaps deserves a little privacy; That kind of shame doesn't deserve televising. So what's the outcome? Well the store is still open for business, minus the camera/clock, but I have yet to see a car parked in front of it. I give it 2 more months before it closes down.
Christmas celebration brought me a little over 600 bucks closer to my next laptop. I'm thinking that new Dell XPS with a 20'' screen and a detachable, wireless keyboard should do me just right. Me likey! Me likey! What me don't likey is the cost; Starting at 3000 dollars, I'll need to work on the corner a few extra nights if I want to get it anytime soon. Oh well. At least I'll reach my goal sooner since I don't have a pimp to take a share from me. That wasn't my only gift, mind you. I have a new cologne… yes another one. Burberry London smells very nice, not as good as DK Unleaded For Men which is no longer available. Damn you Donna Karan. Damn you to hell. Other groovy loot included The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe special edition on DVD, The 4th collection of Benny Hill on DVD and 20 Q. (Have you played 20 Q yet? That little devil-in-a-box knows everything!)
New Years consisted of Piña Coladas, Good Company, Quelf, Rum-Coke, Hot Wings, Pizza, Quelf, Pucker Shots, Music, Champagne and Quelf. Oh my god, Quelf. If you ever get the chance to play this game then don't hesitate to do it. Bring an extra pair of pants because there will be some peeing-in-the-pants-laughter. Thanks to that game I learned that dark red lipstick makes me look trashy and I am not a trashy guy. We rang in the New Years and promptly continued to finish our Quelf match!
Rumors seem to be true. The First Assembly of God church in Crestview might be delivering Venti sized salvation very soon!!! The church has been under renovations for a few months now and word on the street (i.e. Main street. The only street in Crestview) is that the lobby will be hosting a Starbucks Coffee. I wonder if the barista will place the blueberry scone on my tongue if I utter "body of Christ" after ordering it. Am I the only one that finds this idea wild? I'm filled with visions of money changers outside of a temple in Jerusalem. What happened to keeping the church as a place of worship? The concept of a holy temple seems long gone; Most of these building are just boxes were gossip, hypocrisy and fear seems to fester. Don't let me be misunderstood: There are still people out there that make their congregations a place of worship. They sanctify their surrounding through their actions and their mindset. I'm learning that each person's place of worship is without boundaries, without walls and rooftops. My place of worship is my frame of mind when I'm communing with God, It's a calming privacy that I find when I pray to him. That's my place of worship and I carry it with me wherever I go.
In summary, I would like a Venti Caramel Macchiato, please. Thank you.
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